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Raft Grand Canyon, 22 to 28 August 2004
Talent Show
Sometime after lunch Captain Ken warned us that we would be expected
to perform at a talent show that night and also encouraged us to dress
up as best we could, using our sheets as Togas for example. The
former was taken to heart and all 20 of us did something in front of the
others while the latter only got luke warm reception. Taylor
appointed herself to be the master of ceremonies and spent the time in
camp leading up to the show getting the order set while decked out in a
two tone Toga. This made it all the more unfortunate that she fell
off the boat into the water only minutes before the show, but as they
say, the show went on.
It began with magic show in which Spencer read Ned's mind. It
should also be noted at this point that Ned gets double-bonus dress up
points for showing up to the show in pressed khakis and a gleaming white
Polo shirt. Kaylin was next with a geological juggling routine
made anything but by the lack of light. Up next was Jamie who read
the poem Wilderness Song by Everett Ruess, which is reproduced
completely without permission below.
I have been one who loved the wilderness
Swaggered and softly crept among the mountain peaks
I have listened long to the seas brave music,
I have sung my songs above the shriek of desert winds.
On canyon trails when warm nights winds were blowing,
Blowing and sighing through the star tipped pines,
Musing, I walked behind my placid burro,
While water rushed and broke on pointed rocks below.
I have known a green seas heaving,
I have loved red rocks and twisted trees and cloudless turquoise skies,
Slow sunny clouds and red sand blowing.
I have felt the rain and slept behind the waterfall.
In cool sweet grasses I have lain and heard the ghostly murmur of
regretful winds,
In aspen glades where rustling silver leaves whisper wild sorrows to the
green gold solitude's,
I have watched the shadowed clouds pile high.
Singing, I rode to meet the splendid shouting storm,
And fought it's fury until the hidden sun foundered in darkness,
And the lightning heard my song.
Say that I was tired and weary,
Burned and blinded by the desert sun,
Footsore, thirsty sick with strange diseases, lonely
And wet and cold,
But that I kept my dream.
Always I shall be one who loves the wilderness.
Swaggers and softly creeps among the mountain peaks.
I shall listen long to the seas brave music.
I shall sing my songs above the shriek of desert winds.
He was
followed by the Four Raisins, or Bob, Karen, Jim, and Pam who composed
the unique river diddy sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine.
We all live in a Canyoneers' boat
trying to stay afloat
on a Canyoneers' boat.
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We all live in a Canyoneers' boat
for a 7-day float
on the grandest of moats!
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We've seen sheep and goats
pick up crap that floats,
but we didn't know we'd bathe
in a murky, muddy moat.
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We've traveled near and far
by sun and silver star
but the trail to the Duke
is the best one by far!
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With Ken at the helm
and John with the gun,
Jamie telling stories,
we've had a lot of fun!
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At the end of the ride
we all get to gloat--
We've done the Grand Canyon
in a Canyoneers' boat!
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We all live in a Canyoneers' boat
trying to stay afloat
on a Canyoneers' boat.
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We all live in a Canyoneers' boat
for a 7 day float
on the grandest of moats!
It was a hard act to follow but Ron was up to the challenge, by
covering himself with a sheet illuminated from within by a headlamp, he
was Beethoven's Ghost. Carol came next with a recitation of Shel
Silverstein's Boa Constrictor poem and it was such an animated recital
that she had a hard time keeping herself in her Toga. John was up
next and it seemed at first that he was going to, well, fart on
us. With his back to us, hands on knees, he faced the river in
silence for about 10 seconds, only to turn around and let out the
loudest burp ever heard. Andrew sang a portion of Blues in the
Night to Maria next, an affair that can best be described as
uncomfortable and awkward for all involved, including the viewers.
Another song followed, this time Stacy singing Hey Big Spender to
Pablo. The Weintraub trio came up next singing Canyoneer Things,
my favorite part of the show.
Big drops in rapids with brown water splashes
Squirt guns and buckets and John's silly glasses
Hating the sun and our burns that still sting
These are a few of our Canyoneer things.
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Ken's steady piloting, Jamie's great stories
Grand Canyon splendor in all of its glory
Praising the sun and the warmth that it brings
These are our favorite Canyoneer things.
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Riding the Duke when another boat passes
Sand in our ears and our clothes and eyelashes
Digging out boats, while eating like kings
These are some of our Canyoneer things.
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When your boss barks
And the job starts
When you're feeling sad
Simply remember these Canyoneer things
And then you won't feel so bad.
Another song followed, this time Emily singing, no belting out, We
are in Love to me. This was followed by me singing Canyonman
to the tune of Monty Pythons' Lumberjack song. However, it was my
outfit more than the song that caught everyone's attention. While
on stage, Emily held a sheet up allowing me to strip and clap myself
only with one small dry bag in front and one in the back, connected by carabineers.
I'm the Canyonman and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and hunt all day.
I wrestle sheep,
I climb big rocks,
and cover myself with crudddddddd!
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Emily sings first verse while Casey dances.
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I wish I was a Captain,
so I could get the boat stuck in muddddddddddd!
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Emily sings second verse while Casey dances.
Ken rounded out the show with a reading of A Boatman's Prayer.
I wore my Canyonman outfit until Emily insisted that I take it off.
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| Toga party! From left to right we have Canyonman,
Kaylin, Carol, Emily, Stacy, Taylor, Dana, and Keith. |
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